PETA Kooks

"Beyoncé prides herself on being a ‘good Christian girl,’ but surely Jesus would not condone the anal and genital electrocution commonly used to kill animals for their pelts," says PETA Vice President Dan Mathews.

Y'know, I'm as anti-Christian as they come, but I would think twice before saying something as shitty as that. Let's, ahem, dissect that statement.

"Beyoncé prides herself..."

Insult her for pride. That's one of the Seven Deadly Sins, you know!

"...on being a 'good Christian girl'..."

PETA never tires of making appeals to Christians by implying that they don't live up to Christianity's ideals. I think Christians already know this -- it is the foundation of the whole religion.

"...but surely Jesus would not condone..."

The Gospels were written long after the fact, and re-written, and translated, and so on. Isn't it nice that PETA continues the tradition by putting words in Jesus' mouth? If you are a non-believer, as I am, you can be amused by their chutzpah; if you are a believer, you can be insulted by it.

"...the anal and genital electrocution commonly used to kill animals for their pelts."

Ah, yes, the disgust factor. Can't write a press release without pouring blood, guts and crocodile tears all over it...

PETA pride themselves on their morality, but surely Jesus wouldn't judge others, lest he be judged himself.