Sunday, April 25, 2004

"People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is planning a "snarl-in' protest today at noon in front of House of Pets, 3836 N. Peck Road. The action is designed to convince consumers not to purchase Iams pet food. Iams mistreats dogs and cats in its laboratories, PETA activists say.

"But House of Pets does not carry Iams products, said store owner Myra Larkin. "We never have and never will,' Larkin said. "For the same reasons as (PETA) believes.' "

So remember, a little advance research can save a lot of embarassment.

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

"Beyoncé prides herself on being a ‘good Christian girl,’ but surely Jesus would not condone the anal and genital electrocution commonly used to kill animals for their pelts," says PETA Vice President Dan Mathews.

Y'know, I'm as anti-Christian as they come, but I would think twice before saying something as shitty as that. Let's, ahem, dissect that statement.

"Beyoncé prides herself..."

Insult her for pride. That's one of the Seven Deadly Sins, you know!

"...on being a 'good Christian girl'..."

PETA never tires of making appeals to Christians by implying that they don't live up to Christianity's ideals. I think Christians already know this -- it is the foundation of the whole religion.

"...but surely Jesus would not condone..."

The Gospels were written long after the fact, and re-written, and translated, and so on. Isn't it nice that PETA continues the tradition by putting words in Jesus' mouth? If you are a non-believer, as I am, you can be amused by their chutzpah; if you are a believer, you can be insulted by it.

"...the anal and genital electrocution commonly used to kill animals for their pelts."

Ah, yes, the disgust factor. Can't write a press release without pouring blood, guts and crocodile tears all over it...

PETA pride themselves on their morality, but surely Jesus wouldn't judge others, lest he be judged himself.

Bruce Springsteen, according to a few sources, is a vegetarian. So why did PETA lampoon his "Born in the USA" album cover?

Animal activists People For The Ethical Treatment of Animals have pulled an advertisement poking fun at Bruce Springsteen's 'Born in the USA' album cover after complaints from the rocker's management. The ad shows a large buttocks with the tagline, "Obese in the USA." A PETA spokesman says, "The ad was intended to parody the sad shape a meat-addicted America has taken since this classic album came out. Mr. Springsteen's management felt that people might think we were spoofing Bruce himself, which was never the case."

Saturday, April 10, 2004

A handy PETA timeline.

Thursday, April 08, 2004

The Hideous Analogy Team at PETA comes up with yet another one; pisses off Canada's Prime Minister.

April 7, 2004
RIVIERE-DU-LOUP, Que. -- Prime Minister Paul Martin says he is revolted by a new anti-meat campaign that exploits a horrific killing spree in British Columbia. The billboard campaign sponsored by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals features a picture of a young woman and another of a pig, with the slogan "Neither of us is Meat." It is an apparent reference to the case of Robert Pickton, the B.C. pig farmer charged with murdering 15 women. Relatives of the murder victims have condemned the PETA campaign, which is coming to major cities across the country. Martin says there are ways to support a cause, but this isn't one of them. He says the ads are unacceptable.

I had scrambled eggs with chorizo, and hash browns with crumpled bacon this morning. Oddly, this breakfast did not instill in me any desire to kill or devour a young woman. I'm beginning to think PETA's Hideous Analogy Team is just trying to gross me out so that I can't enjoy my scrambled eggs with chorizo, and hash browns with crumpled bacon (not to mention the cream in my Chock Full O'Nuts coffee) in peace.

Sunday, April 04, 2004

Not exactly PETA-related, but close.

I volunteer a couple days a week at an arts resource center. The center provides the facilities for people to publish their own books, chapbooks, posters, etc., and the clientele are mostly do-it-yourself punk types -- good artists, nice people, but I seldom meet many fellow skeptics there. Much of our membership is vegetarian, with a large percentage of thereof being vegan, and there is a strong tendency toward anthropomorphizing animals.

Yesterday, one of my fellow staff members told this story. It seems that two of her pals claim they can psychically communicate with animals – a claim she happily accepts. Apparently these friends found themselves confronting a large slug that had found its way into their kitchen sink. The two animal psychics furrowed their brows and combined their considerable mystic forces in an effort to establish contact. Nothing! No response at all. They redoubled their efforts. Still, the slug remained aloof. After several minutes, the humans realized that the slug was, in fact, a waterlogged, wedge-cut French fry.

Amid much laughter, one of the audience for this story cried, "See! That’s proof right there!"

I attempted to explain that an inability to communicate psychically with a French fry does not scientifically support the claim that one can psychically communicate with animals. I was told that since I had not read a book on the subject, I clearly didn’t know what I was talking about. While she went on, I silently imagined a double-blind study in which allegedly psychic participants attempt to determine whether they are communicating with a land mollusk or a soggy piece of fried potato. While everybody laughed at the story, I think I got the most humor value out of it.

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